Thursday, September 06, 2007
I'm sorry I've been away for so long...
I've been unfaithful and I'm sorry.
Sometimes something all nice and shiny and new comes along and you can't help but be attracted to it and tag along for the ride and sometimes the ride isn't what you expect it to be and you come crawling back to your old flame begging for forgiveness and a second chance. Nothing like the old and familiar...
I fell in love once and it was a turbulent ride, blown along by winds that brought along the scent of high adventure, endless possibilities and perhaps pots of gold at the end of every rainbow. The boy being the boy never did quite think of me... not quite. I guess I was a stand in of sorts, something "new" that warranted a closer inspection but nothing more. That was the first time I ever fell head over heels in love, or rather in love with love.
Now on hindsight the mists clear and everything stands out in stark contrast. In love with love. I rather like that concept. Everyday was such a thrilling ride. The air smelt cleaner and everything was radiant and it was significantly harder to see the ugliness that assaulted you everyday. It injected possibility into my hopelessly pessimistic nature and everything was fine. Love is the rose-tinted sunglass that those in love put on when in love. If only everyday was like that even when you aren't in love. It's like in the movies.. like when the detective in roger rabbit stripped aside reality and went into cartoon land. Entirely surreal. He loved another girl. Silly me really. No one in their right mind would pin hopes like that on one person. It's too much pressure to bear. I stared after him while he stared after her and she obliviously ran along chasing butterflies with another guy. Funny stuff now that I think of it. I've learnt much since then. I've learnt to dig in my ABTs to stop headlong tumbles down slopes. I've bungy jumped once and thankfully the elastic held. Lesson learnt. Take things slow... someone advised. I agree wholeheartedly. If anything happens it happens. Don't look too much into it. Afterall, curiosity does tend to kill the cat and from what I've seen chasing dustbunnies only ends up in barfing up hairballs.
I've been unfaithful and I'm sorry.
Sometimes something all nice and shiny and new comes along and you can't help but be attracted to it and tag along for the ride and sometimes the ride isn't what you expect it to be and you come crawling back to your old flame begging for forgiveness and a second chance. Nothing like the old and familiar...
I fell in love once and it was a turbulent ride, blown along by winds that brought along the scent of high adventure, endless possibilities and perhaps pots of gold at the end of every rainbow. The boy being the boy never did quite think of me... not quite. I guess I was a stand in of sorts, something "new" that warranted a closer inspection but nothing more. That was the first time I ever fell head over heels in love, or rather in love with love.
Now on hindsight the mists clear and everything stands out in stark contrast. In love with love. I rather like that concept. Everyday was such a thrilling ride. The air smelt cleaner and everything was radiant and it was significantly harder to see the ugliness that assaulted you everyday. It injected possibility into my hopelessly pessimistic nature and everything was fine. Love is the rose-tinted sunglass that those in love put on when in love. If only everyday was like that even when you aren't in love. It's like in the movies.. like when the detective in roger rabbit stripped aside reality and went into cartoon land. Entirely surreal. He loved another girl. Silly me really. No one in their right mind would pin hopes like that on one person. It's too much pressure to bear. I stared after him while he stared after her and she obliviously ran along chasing butterflies with another guy. Funny stuff now that I think of it. I've learnt much since then. I've learnt to dig in my ABTs to stop headlong tumbles down slopes. I've bungy jumped once and thankfully the elastic held. Lesson learnt. Take things slow... someone advised. I agree wholeheartedly. If anything happens it happens. Don't look too much into it. Afterall, curiosity does tend to kill the cat and from what I've seen chasing dustbunnies only ends up in barfing up hairballs.
Monday, May 21, 2007
In case no one noticed, I've included another monkee's arse in my link section... me hahahah! (or another me actually)
Saturday, May 19, 2007
OMG.
I'm unofficially a criminal.
I ran my first red light today... with a bloody police car in the lane beside me!
Ok I admit I was speeding... a little. 80 km/h in a 70 km/h zone, then suddenly the light turned amber when I was less than 25 m from the junction! I hit the breaks but also took a quick glance at the rear view mirror and saw the guy behind me coming up on me and he seemed so damn close so I panicked!
In that split second I made my decision, I'd rather get a summon or demerit points rather than have to pay off a higher insurance premium if I should wreck the car (not to mention a ban from driving my family car for all time after)... so I picked up speed and went right through... with my mom screeching to the left of me that a police car was in the next lane.
Later on I remembered that objects in the rear view mirror tend to appear closer than they actually are. My memory can be so seriously fucked up at the wrong times...
I don't care if it negates all my karma brownie points with the universe... PLEASE DON'T LET ME GET SUMMONED!!!
umm.. pretty please with cherries and rainbow sprinkles on top?
I'm unofficially a criminal.
I ran my first red light today... with a bloody police car in the lane beside me!
Ok I admit I was speeding... a little. 80 km/h in a 70 km/h zone, then suddenly the light turned amber when I was less than 25 m from the junction! I hit the breaks but also took a quick glance at the rear view mirror and saw the guy behind me coming up on me and he seemed so damn close so I panicked!
In that split second I made my decision, I'd rather get a summon or demerit points rather than have to pay off a higher insurance premium if I should wreck the car (not to mention a ban from driving my family car for all time after)... so I picked up speed and went right through... with my mom screeching to the left of me that a police car was in the next lane.
Later on I remembered that objects in the rear view mirror tend to appear closer than they actually are. My memory can be so seriously fucked up at the wrong times...
I don't care if it negates all my karma brownie points with the universe... PLEASE DON'T LET ME GET SUMMONED!!!
umm.. pretty please with cherries and rainbow sprinkles on top?
Friday, May 18, 2007
I GOT IN!
Samie's tendered her resignation yesterday and got into school on the same day!
SAMIE'S GOING BACK TO SCHOOL! XD
Damn did it feel good walking to the office yesterday with that letter in my bag.
There was an extra bounce in my step and the air smelt of cotton candy and Clinique Happy.
I swear it wasn't from the woman in front of me...
School starts 9th July. Orientation's on 27th June which, THANK GOD, I'm gonna miss 'cos I'll be in Melbourne!
I'll be a free woman again from next wednesday (23/7).
4 MORE DAYS TILL MY BOND OFFICIALLY ENDS!!!
WHEE!!!
Samie's tendered her resignation yesterday and got into school on the same day!
SAMIE'S GOING BACK TO SCHOOL! XD
Damn did it feel good walking to the office yesterday with that letter in my bag.
There was an extra bounce in my step and the air smelt of cotton candy and Clinique Happy.
I swear it wasn't from the woman in front of me...
School starts 9th July. Orientation's on 27th June which, THANK GOD, I'm gonna miss 'cos I'll be in Melbourne!
I'll be a free woman again from next wednesday (23/7).
4 MORE DAYS TILL MY BOND OFFICIALLY ENDS!!!
WHEE!!!
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
My interview with SIM is next Monday and the sense of urgency which should precede the aforementioned event is missing. I'm alarmed at the nonchalence with which I view this upcoming event which would for good or bad, change my life for the next year or so. Is it complacency? Is it (over)confidence? Well whatever it is, it's making me procrastinate over updating my portfolio. Snapping out of it seems to be the obvious answer but even with the instruction manual open in front of me, somehow I just can't seem to find the panic button. Maybe I'm not on the right page...
Hmmm.
Droo was telling me I should try applying for the MDA grant. However, judging from some of the stuff he and Lynn are submitting I'm feeling seriously outclassed. The moral is, I didn't even bother in the end. My life thus far has been fairly smooth sailing, mostly unremarkable and basically mundane. Things don't really fall into my lap but somehow they do work out one way or the other. Thank God for that!
So far, (Dare I say it? *Murphy you did NOT hear/read this!*) I've been rejected from only 1 job interview that I've gone for and I've gotten into all the schools I've applied for wholeheartedly (NUS doesn't count 'cos that was just a backup plan). Somehow I think this has lulled me into a semi-state of content and I don't seem to be worried about getting into SIM. Hell! I know I should be worried but somehow it's all just dead inside. My anxieties need resuscitation dammit! (and don't nobody come puckering their lips at me >:P)
Hmmm.
Droo was telling me I should try applying for the MDA grant. However, judging from some of the stuff he and Lynn are submitting I'm feeling seriously outclassed. The moral is, I didn't even bother in the end. My life thus far has been fairly smooth sailing, mostly unremarkable and basically mundane. Things don't really fall into my lap but somehow they do work out one way or the other. Thank God for that!
So far, (Dare I say it? *Murphy you did NOT hear/read this!*) I've been rejected from only 1 job interview that I've gone for and I've gotten into all the schools I've applied for wholeheartedly (NUS doesn't count 'cos that was just a backup plan). Somehow I think this has lulled me into a semi-state of content and I don't seem to be worried about getting into SIM. Hell! I know I should be worried but somehow it's all just dead inside. My anxieties need resuscitation dammit! (and don't nobody come puckering their lips at me >:P)
Monday, March 19, 2007
It was a trés horrible monday at the fucking office *pardon my french* and so many people weren't around.
Looks like it's gonna be another repeat of the blitzkreig of last week.
Why is it when the school holidays come around all the single people have to suffer while the ones with family are entitle to take mass leave and MC?
Saw Deedee online yesterday and he sent me off to see a vid of him getting tattooed.
I was like "HOLY FUCK!!! YOU GOT A TATTOO?!"
For someone who's been talking about it for years and not having done anything about it ths far this came as quite a surprise. It reminded me of my own continuous bouts of procrastination and I felt an intense pang guilt for all I've not done.
I can't wait till I'm gone from this place. I just can't take the stupidity of the sales staff here anymore.
Really gotta hand it to those of my colleagues who've been here for so long. I'm afraid that if I stay here any longer the stupidity is gonna be deadly. Already my mental faculties are slowing down due to the monotonous nature of the job and my sense of aesthetics and design is going down the drain. ARGH! I have to break out of the habit of trying to fill every available space with stuff! Less is more.
Space is good.
Space is god.
Looks like it's gonna be another repeat of the blitzkreig of last week.
Why is it when the school holidays come around all the single people have to suffer while the ones with family are entitle to take mass leave and MC?
Saw Deedee online yesterday and he sent me off to see a vid of him getting tattooed.
I was like "HOLY FUCK!!! YOU GOT A TATTOO?!"
For someone who's been talking about it for years and not having done anything about it ths far this came as quite a surprise. It reminded me of my own continuous bouts of procrastination and I felt an intense pang guilt for all I've not done.
I can't wait till I'm gone from this place. I just can't take the stupidity of the sales staff here anymore.
Really gotta hand it to those of my colleagues who've been here for so long. I'm afraid that if I stay here any longer the stupidity is gonna be deadly. Already my mental faculties are slowing down due to the monotonous nature of the job and my sense of aesthetics and design is going down the drain. ARGH! I have to break out of the habit of trying to fill every available space with stuff! Less is more.
Space is good.
Space is god.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Went out today because I couldn't stand being at home, not when SOME people seem to think that everything's my fault when it clearly ain't. We had our late breakfast with granny at Lavender food centre. Granny always eats the siew mai there and so I asked her how may baskets she wants and she tells me 2. Fine. Then I asked my parents if they want any. They take their own sweet time answering me making me repeat my question at least 3 times. Why? My sister wants to eat beef ball noodles but they're not ready yet and my parents are trying to convince her to eat fishball noodles. Fine. They finally tell me to order one basket for my sister. I go order the food. While I was queueing to pick up the prawn mee I ordered my father came up and said rather tersely...
"How many baskets did you order?"
3. I replied.
"You ordered 3 then how abt your sister?"
Now wait.. let me think on this. Granny (2) + Sister (1) = 3?
Correct wat? Granny 2, Sister 1.
"But you KNOW your granny always eats 3 baskets."
My dad stalks off to buy order extra basket for my sister.
There I was like WTF?! And this is my fault how?? I went back to the table and there was my granny hogging all 3 baskets infront of her. I tried to explain the situation again and my dad just grunted. My granny didn't say a thing!
What could I do?
It wasn't the most comfortable breakfast I sat through that's for sure.
I tried to apologise to my dad after we got home even though it wasn't my fault. All he said was "I know." and left it at that. I just had to get out of the house after that. Sometimes it's the things that aren't said that hurt the most. Went to tampines mall to get some retail therapy after that traumatizing breakfast. Was in Music Junction for a bit and they have some of the most obscure titles! They even had The Phantom of the Paradise ( which was a disc that I bought for my dad's xmas present last year from amazon after much headaches and bad after sales service from HMV.)
Anyway the main thing is that I found Edward Scissorhands! I LOVE that show! Bought it without a second thought. Watching it later really brings back memories. Johnny Depp STILL looks so cool when he stabs that jock and pushes him out the window. My heart STILL melts into a big bloody puddle when Edward and Kim share that sweet hug by the window before it all goes to hell for poor Edward. I'd take Edward over that jock any day back when I was a lil girl and Hell! I'd STILL take Edward over that jock now. I have a thing for anti-hero figures :P
Oh well, back to work tomorrow... dammit.
"How many baskets did you order?"
3. I replied.
"You ordered 3 then how abt your sister?"
Now wait.. let me think on this. Granny (2) + Sister (1) = 3?
Correct wat? Granny 2, Sister 1.
"But you KNOW your granny always eats 3 baskets."
My dad stalks off to buy order extra basket for my sister.
There I was like WTF?! And this is my fault how?? I went back to the table and there was my granny hogging all 3 baskets infront of her. I tried to explain the situation again and my dad just grunted. My granny didn't say a thing!
What could I do?
It wasn't the most comfortable breakfast I sat through that's for sure.
I tried to apologise to my dad after we got home even though it wasn't my fault. All he said was "I know." and left it at that. I just had to get out of the house after that. Sometimes it's the things that aren't said that hurt the most. Went to tampines mall to get some retail therapy after that traumatizing breakfast. Was in Music Junction for a bit and they have some of the most obscure titles! They even had The Phantom of the Paradise ( which was a disc that I bought for my dad's xmas present last year from amazon after much headaches and bad after sales service from HMV.)
Anyway the main thing is that I found Edward Scissorhands! I LOVE that show! Bought it without a second thought. Watching it later really brings back memories. Johnny Depp STILL looks so cool when he stabs that jock and pushes him out the window. My heart STILL melts into a big bloody puddle when Edward and Kim share that sweet hug by the window before it all goes to hell for poor Edward. I'd take Edward over that jock any day back when I was a lil girl and Hell! I'd STILL take Edward over that jock now. I have a thing for anti-hero figures :P
Oh well, back to work tomorrow... dammit.
Which Member of the Endless Are You?
Which Naruto Character Are You?
Test by naruto - kun.com>
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid: | Very High |
| Schizoid: | Moderate |
| Schizotypal: | Very High |
| Antisocial: | Moderate |
| Borderline: | Low |
| Histrionic: | High |
| Narcissistic: | High |
| Avoidant: | Very High |
| Dependent: | High |
| Obsessive-Compulsive: | High |
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information -- | |